When December birthdays and Christmases come around,
there is still reason to celebrate
When her daughter was murdered in June of 2010, Theresa Ray knew
birthdays and Christmas would never be the same.
The thought of not celebrating didn't last long, and this week
the celebrations continue, though when it comes to Andrea, memories
will have to suffice.
"We were close, and the best of friends," Theresa says of her
relationship with her daughter, Andrea, who would have been 23
years old this past Monday. "We went shopping together, went
walking together and just hung out together. There are a lot of
special memories for me."
Theresa says Andrea was the first to call on birthdays, and she
was always getting the family ready to do things on the
holidays.
"Andrea would not want me to not celebrate Christmas or
birthdays," Theresa said. "She would want me to continue to
celebrate for Brody (Andrea's three-year-old son) and for what
Christmas is about. That's the kind of person she was, thinking
about other people."
While the celebrations continue, life without Andrea is not
getting any easier. There have been two birthdays, and on Sunday
two Christmases, without Andrea.
"I keep telling people it doesn't get any easier, you just have
to live with it," Theresa said.
There was a closure of sorts Dec. 8, when Jesse Berry, Andrea
Ray's boyfriend at the time of her murder, was sentenced to life in
prison for her murder.
"I knew without a doubt from when we were first told that Andrea
was dead, that Jesse killed her," Theresa Ray said.
Dent County Prosecuting Attorney Sid Pearson said Berry will
have to serve at least 85 percent of the sentence, which is about
25 years. The state, Pearson said, considers a life sentence as 30
years.
Ray said she was "ok" with the life sentence Judge Gael Wood
handed out.
"There is nothing that can be done or a prison term that will
bring my daughter back, but at least we know that he is being
punished for what he did," Theresa Ray said.
Berry's reaction in court to his sentencing shocked her, she
said this week. "He showed no remorse at all, he just acted like we
were bothering him," Theresa said.
When Judge Wood asked Berry if he had anything to say, Berry did
not respond.
"He never, ever said he was sorry," Theresa said.
Andrea's son, Brody, and the comforting words and friendships
from Andrea's friends, have been soul savers for Theresa. Brody is
with her at night, and the two share special times together.
"I get a lot of text messages, phone calls and visits from
Andrea's friends," Theresa Ray said. "They're always there for me
and have been real supportive of me."
When Andrea and her friends celebrated Andrea's 21st birthday,
her last, they asked Theresa to join in the fun, which she
declined.
"I now wish I would have," Theresa says.
