Please note, the article was originally published as an April Fools Joke.
The National Funguses Foundation confirmed Saturday morning that Dent County is home to the world’s largest morel mushroom ever found. Hikers stumbled on the enormous specimen at an undisclosed location in the Mark Twain National Forest.
Researchers say there is still much unknown about how the mushroom grew so big, but they are willing to share key details.
“We estimate it’s about 15 feet tall, but it’s hard to measure an exact figure,” says Dr. Julius Cornblow. “The spore is very dense so no one can get within a five-foot radius. We’re also scared to climb on top, too, because if you fall through the openings in the coral formation, you may not get back out.”
Cornblow says researchers have been forced to wear gasmasks and protective suits because of the dense spore cloud. Although they belief it’s not poisonous, the cloud has turned exposed skin purple.
“We learned that one the hard way,” Cornblow says. “If you’ve got enough applesauce you can rub it off.”
Another hazard researchers have identified are gigantic centipedes habituating inside the mushroom.
“We believe the Morel is having an effect on the insects, like some unknown element of the fungus is making them grow incredibly large,” Cornblow says. “There is the potential for some type of a Godzilla-like monster to emerge, but we’ve successfully quarantined the area. We’ve also been able to keep the centipedes at bay with an assortment of old boots. We’re certainly putting the fun into fungus!”
Cornblow says researchers will remain onsite for the foreseeable future.
“We will continue to monitor the situation and conduct experiments,” Cornblow says. “We’re beginning to write an official report on our findings, but I don’t think it will be ready until next April Fool’s Day.”
